One Step Further Than You Have Ever Dared To Go

[Amsterdam, Cork; June 2009]

 Every burning night

Every buried light

Could be your home

Every open door

Every broken morning

Could be home

 

You know you should learn to set it still

But you’re so used to letting go

And staying put is always one step further than you’ve ever dared to go

 

Every burning night

Every buried light

Could be your home

Every open door

Every broken morning

Could be home

 

Maybe you could learn to love the warm

But you already know the cold

And staying put is always one step further than you’ve ever dared to go

 

Maybe you could learn to love her room

But you already know the road

And staying put is always one step further than you ever dared to go

Staying put is always one step further than you’ve ever dared to go

 

Light as a Feather

The sky was above

The earth was below

We and the morning had nowhere to go

The earth was below

The sky was above

And I could still believe in love

 

We gathered heather

Light as a feather

And dark as the face of the sea

And a bed beneath the trees

 

You headed east

The sun fell west

And only I knew why you left

The sun fell west

And you headed east

And I learned how the love can leave

 

I gathered heather

Wondering whether

We’d see it to light any more

And I laid it at your door

 

All the leaves were gold

When you came back

Soft over in pine to a town dressed black

When you came back

All the leaves were gold

So does all love die before it grows old

 

I gathered heather

Heavy as leather

And light as the mouth of a cave

And I laid it on your grave

 

Where Are You Now?

[Berlin, 2001]

We were young and full of heat and off the beaten track

We got so far from home that night I never made it back

 

Where are you now?

When the wind is crying all around

When everything that I put up comes down

Where are you now?

 

We used to fear the devil, now we’ve got him in the trunk

With tire irons and tires and what used to make us punk

 

Where are you now?

When the wind is crying all around

When everything that I put up comes down

Where are you now?

 

Round the street in the home stretch there’s a light on in the corner store

This morning I stopped smoking cigarettes, but the night always finds just one more

 

I took on a shooting star, and I said, “Do your worst”

You will fall and fast and far, but I’ll hit the ground first

 

Where are you now?

When the wind is crying all around

When everything that I put up comes down

Where are you now?

When the wind is crying all around

When everything I’ve ever done’s come down

Where are you now?

 

On Barbwire Fences in Kansas

[Kansas, L.A., February 2005]

 

Blue scarf tied to a barbwire fence, what do you mark the place of?

Before they hung you high and dry, who did you hide the face of?

Is there something buried in the ground below?

Will anybody ever know?

 

Tumbleweed stuck on a barbwire fence, your wandering days are over

Now you’ve come to end and rest, where you used to run from cover

Is it sweet memories when the dry winds blow?

Or just the bitter call of where you’ll never go?

 

Three white crosses in the dirt at the side of the road, what time are you the sign of?

Before I passed by, before the soft shoulder, what love were you the design of?

Do you mark a miracle that the world needs to know?

Or just an accident of long ago?

 

Cali Before It’s Gone

[New Jersey/Chico, December 2009/January 2010]

 

When you close your eyes in Jersey, winter brings you things—

Whispers off the Turnpike, rumors off of Route 18—

Spoiling every memory of spring.

 

The hardest thing I ever tried to teach myself was not to care,

But once you’re all in, once you’re calling,

There’s no hiding, anywhere.

 

It’s warmer way out west,

And I’m waiting on your call.

With evening breathing winter storms,

I just want to hear from somewhere warm.

 

On the 80, westbound, chasing things I whispered in your ear… 

After all my warnings about leaving California,

I cannot get gone as long as you’re here.

 

Running from every rising sun, driving all day long:

Salt Flats in the morning, Sierras in the evening,

Trying to get to Cali before it’s gone.

 

I’ll be coming on like roses,

Hoping you will be there still,

But even if you’re not,

I have always got

One day left to believe that you will.

 

 

Girl From Kinnelon

[NJ, CA]

 

There was nothing sane and sound

About the night we closed the Idiot down

With boys from all the boroughs playing grab-ass between each round

But when we’re bridge and tunnel, what do we do?

We stood on 14^th St. and watched the sky get blue

And a Morris County girl told the story of her rose tattoo

 

Already wide awake

Already fighting sleep

Thirty blocks thinking about this girl from Kinnelon

All the way to Chambers St.

 

When she’s on a 19-gram weekend

When you’re 19 everything still makes sense

And a pretty girl is never long and hard on making carrying friends

But when you’re out and on, what can I do?

I lie awake all night and watch the sky get blue

And clouds as soft as cotton or the skin under your rose tattoo

 

Wired sick with worry

Wired sick with want

Up the street and back thinking about this girl from Kinnelon

And wondering where she’s breaking dawn

 

But when my head’s still ringing from you,

What can I do?

When you don’t call when you say you mean to?

When I’m back in California writing songs about your rose tattoo?

 

Wired all the way to north Jersey

Wired all the way from L.A.

Hit the interstate thinking about this girl from Kinnelon

And hoping everything is okay

 

Not to Worry (Even Jesus)

[Berlin, 2001]

 

You and I threw shadows on the moon

And even Jesus won’t forgive us for letting you off so soon

What stays behind is the day-to-day

And even Jesus can’t be trusted to take that away

 

Light that I caught beating on my window

Was you and telling me to move along

You were saying not to worry

What has been can never be gone

Not to cling so fiercely to the earth

When I don’t know what anything is worth

 

A crescent moon’s got something to hide

And even Jesus cannot suss what’s being said between the light

Born with wings and a fear of heights

And even Jesus can’t be trusted to put that right

 

The Middle of Nebraska

 

Clouds like covered wagons and each one heading west

In the middle of Nebraska, the wind blows down the left

The trees all lean the same way, wearing the same old load

And the dust already knows

The dust already knows

The dust already knows its destined road

 

Gone away’s the day you’d say we had a heart a gold

In the middle of Nebraska, back when we felt old

And now that we’re all young again, we don’t know alone
And we’ve got a heart of sand

We’ve got a heart of sand

We’ve got a heart of sand and a soul of stone

 

I’ve seen storms that lit the sky

And chased the needles on the wind

I’ve seen storms just pass me by

And I know one more will do me in

 

I rolled in at the wheel of a Buick. They rode me out in a tumbleweed

In the middle of Nebraska, in 1993

I was shooting for salvation. I ended up with light

And knew it would never break

And knew it would never break

And knew it would never break through the night

 

 

All the Same

[NYC, 2004]

 

If it’s all the same to you, I’ll go quietly

There’s no need to dwell on what we know already

 

If it’s been all the same to you since the beginning

Then why the sudden need to wait for ending?

 

On a sidewalk in block-caps chalk: “God sees everything”

But what we don’t say is gonna do us in

 

If it’s all the same to you, just go quietly

I’d do the same for you, no need to worry

 

 

In the First Week of April

 

In the first week of April 2001

A man on the corner was calling me son

We’ll pay for your college, you’re set when you’re done

Because there’s always a job for an army of one

 

In the first week of April 2002

I caught a bullet outside of Kabul

They fished it out, sewed me up, just like brand new

And sent me back out there for round number 2

 

In the first week of April 2003

I was rolling through sandstorms and no one could see

In the back of a Bradley, at the front of a breeze

That blew into Baghdad and can’t seem to leave

 

In the first week of April 2004

They say it’s all over, but it still looks like war

You can’t tell who’s friendly and you can’t know the score

When you’re fighting the ones that you came to fight for

 

In the first week of April 2005

Priority One is just staying alive

They shoot from the shadows, they hit you and hide

For each one we take down now there’s two more arrive

 

In the first week of April 2009

We rotated home for the very last time

But sweet home isn’t home, in my dreams, in my mind

I’m still back in Iraq, I’m still walking the line

 

Continental Drift

 

No good can come of this

Let the words fall where they will

A frosted window and a plastic sill

No good can come of this

 

No good can come of this

Turn to words to fix

A continental rift

No good can come of this

 

No good can come of this

 

Lucky number thirteen

Leaning over the wing

Stripped of anything known for beating

Lucky number thirteen

Lucky busting to being

 

No good can come of this

Let the words fall where they will

What remains of initial thrills

No good can come of this

 

No good can come of this

From wondering what we missed

From continental drift

No good can come of this

 

Lucky number thirteen

Leaning over the wing

Stripped of anything known for beating

Lucky number thirteen

Lucky busting to being

 

When I Was Young I Never Wanted the Sun

[Chico, April 07]

 

You’re still the only mistake I will ever cop to

Not the in the beginning but the way I lost you

The only mistake that comes back to haunt me

When I’m weak and dreaming that you might still want me

 

When I was young I never wanted the sun

But now I’m 30 some

And had enough of eastern winters

And I know I won’t be warm again

Until I get to California again

Until I get to California again

Until I get to California again

 

Time for one last look around

Winter streets and people I let down

And what’s left of everything you wanted

Everybody goes home disappointed